Shhhh!

There are some moments where the best thing to say is nothing. This is harder for some than it is for others - and even harder for someone who tries to provide a new blog entry every day. Yet, words are limited and the search for the perfect answer can lead to silence.

I've noticed lately how often I find myself interrupting others, as though whatever I want to say is more important than what they share. Often I talk about whatever I want to tell and then find myself saying "And how about you?" just before I leave or before I end the call. What new things could I have learned or what burdens could I have shared if I had just listened?

Larry Hagman, the actor who played JR in Dallas, had a habit of taking one day each week and remaining silent for the whole day. I imagine that such a regimen made his speech more deliberate and thoughtful during the rest of the week. For me, I just want to learn to be quiet during a conversation or two and just listen. Listening can say so much more than talking.

Who Matters?

Do you worry about what other people say about you, too? Are you concerned that others are spreading rumors or saying things about you that aren't true? Well, rest assured, they are. Sometime today, someone somewhere will make a comment about you that is not entirely accurate. It will probably not be meant to be malicious, but the remark will not have all of the facts straight. Most likely, whoever hears the remark will not question it, but just accept it as fact. Now that you know that, where is the needle on your Paranoia Meter?

So much of my life has been wasted in trying to correct rumors or track down gossip. "Someone said this..." or "Someone said that ...." It is as futile as trying to put a chicken back together after a weekend with Colonel Sanders...it just isn't going to happen. I have learned that those who want the truth seek the truth. Think about this: Do you really care about someone's opinion of you if they are so easily swayed by a malicious whisper? Do you want your friendships determined by polls? Me neither.

What We Really Need

I don’t need someone to give me all the answers; I just want someone who will let me ask questions.

I don’t need someone who will make things better, just someone who will help me see how things are.

I don’t want someone to lift me up; I want someone who will climb with me.

I don’t want someone who carries me; I want a friend who will walk with me.

I don’t want someone to dress my wounds; I need someone who will share their bandages.

I don’t need inspiration; I need dedication.

I don’t need platitudes; I need candor.

What I need is a friend.

A New Day

I have waged this war against myself for many years.
It was terrible, but now I am disarmed.
I am no longer frightened of anything because love banishes fear.
I am disarmed of the need to be right
And to justify myself by disqualifying others.
I am no longer on the defensive holding onto my riches.
I just want to welcome and to share.
I don’t hold onto my ideas and projects.
If someone shows me something better – No, I shouldn’t say better, but good- I no longer seek to compare.
What is good, true and real is always for me the best,
That is why I have no fear.
When we are disarmed and dispossessed of self, if we open our hearts to the God man who makes all things new then he takes away past hurts
And reveals a new time where everything is possible.

Patriarch Athenogoras of Constantinople as quoted by Jean Vanier in Encountering the Other

Julio Reminds Me Of Someone...

From National Public Radio...

Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends his hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one stop early, just so he can eat at his favorite diner.

But one night last month, as Diaz stepped off the No. 6 train and onto a nearly empty platform; his evening took an unexpected turn.

He was walking toward the stairs when a teenage boy approached and pulled out a knife.

"He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, 'Here you go,'" Diaz says.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, "Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm."

The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, "like what's going on here?" Diaz says. "He asked me, 'Why are you doing this?'"

Diaz replied: "If you're willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me ... hey, you're more than welcome.

"You know, I just felt maybe he really needs help," Diaz says.

Diaz says he and the teen went into the diner and sat in a booth.

"The manager comes by, the dishwashers come by, the waiters come by to say hi," Diaz says. "The kid was like, 'You know everybody here. Do you own this place?'"

"No, I just eat here a lot," Diaz says he told the teen. "He says, 'But you're even nice to the dishwasher.'"

Diaz replied, "Well, haven't you been taught you should be nice to everybody?"

"Yea, but I didn't think people actually behaved that way," the teen said.

Diaz asked him what he wanted out of life. "He just had almost a sad face," Diaz says.

The teen couldn't answer Diaz — or he didn't want to.

When the bill arrived, Diaz told the teen, "Look, I guess you're going to have to pay for this bill 'cause you have my money and I can't pay for this. So if you give me my wallet back, I'll gladly treat you."

The teen "didn't even think about it" and returned the wallet, Diaz says. "I gave him $20 ... I figure maybe it'll help him. I don't know."

Diaz says he asked for something in return — the teen's knife — "and he gave it to me."

Afterward, when Diaz told his mother what happened, she said, "You're the type of kid that if someone asked you for the time, you gave them your watch."

"I figure, you know, if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It's as simple as it gets in this complicated world."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759

Self-Contained

Paying attention to the condition of your soul is different than constant self-examination. We think about what is most important to us. When we are constantly thinking about ourselves - our motives, our intentions, our desires - we are declaring clearly what is most important to us: ourselves. This constant self-scrutiny takes away from energy properly spent on the Father and others. Self absorption leaves little for others.

What would happen if I took half of the time that I spend thinking about myself - my appearance, my financial security, my goals, my objectives - and invested that time in thinking about others? What could be transformed by seeing myself through the Father's eyes instead of the eyes of self?

"I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God." 1 Corinthians 4:3-5

The Holy Hand Grenade Grenadiers

As I continue my walk with Jesus away from religion, I remember various incidents that have happened along the way. Some of this is reminiscing and some is therapeutic. One of the things I have been thinking about are the number of "prophets" that I have met along my journey. Typically, these are people with a burning desire to tell what they consider to be the truth and they tell it without any regard for the impact their "truths" will have on those who receive these revelations. They judge thoughts and intentions. They rebuke and challenge. They deliver many "hard sayings." And then they leave. Their objective is to enter a life, throw the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch into the midst of someone's life and then hope someone else picks up the pieces.

The "plain truth" is meant to be balanced with "plain grace." Truth alone can be damning. Satan himself is called "the accuser" in part because all he does is point out fault without providing hope. It takes no spiritual gifts to point out the wrongs in someone's life. It takes no insight to prey on the shame and guilt that most of us already feel. What does take the presence of Jesus is to walk along with others in relationship. It takes the active work of the Holy Spirit to keep two hearts united as together they follow the Father. What difference would it make if these "prophets" were as quick to point out the truths of grace, hope and healing as they are to find the splinter in their victim's eyes?