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Life Itself

“The friendship that can cease has never been real.” - Saint Jerome

This quote haunts me because it causes me to realize how superficial many of my relationships have been. Many have entered my life only to leave at some point. In some ways, however, this isn’t always bad. There are some alliances that are meant to be temporary. If we remained in contact with everyone we met, we would soon have no time for anyone.

When we try to “lock in” or force relationships, we are compelling something that must be a choice. The best friends – our truest friends – are the ones that have chosen to remain with us and who we have chosen to stay alongside. These friendships which do not cease are real, genuine and authentic. They must be – by their very nature – few. But they are life itself.

Unexpected Truth

"If religion were true, its followers would not try to bludgeon their young into an artificial conformity; but would merely insist on their unbending quest for truth, irrespective of artificial backgrounds or practical consequences." -- H. P. Lovecraft

"It strikes me that people with a secure sense of their own faith are often the least liable to get upset by parodies or comedies about it. Religions may deal in divine truths, but they are run by human beings. And the combination is often funny. True believers know that; and don't care when they're made fun of. Insecure believers - and they often need fundamentalism to keep their own souls untroubled by doubt -- are the touchiest." -- Andrew Sullivan

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." -- Blaise Pascal

"I think vital religion has always suffered when orthodoxy is more regarded than virtue. The scriptures assure me that at the last day we shall not be examined on what we thought but what we did." -- Benjamin Franklin [letter to his father, 1738]

“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.” – Thomas Jefferson [letter to his nephew Peter Carr, 1787]

A Guest Blog Well-Worth Reading

My friend Mike sent me this and I asked him if I could reprint it for you. There is a lot of wisdom here! - Bodie

January 26, 2009

Good morning!

One of the unintended consequences of a 24-7 blackberry/twitter world is that our attentions are seldom focused. During the inaugural, I met a pro athlete who told me that several thousand people were following his every (and I mean every) move through a new technology: twitter (My question, who cares? But obviously I am wrong...many do). Like me, you likely flit from activity to activity, crisis to crisis...overwhelmed and even 'high' on movement and stimulus trying to take in all that is available. For many of us, the elusive goal of simply trying to get on top of our lives seems unachievable. We are spending more and more time with our ipods, iphones, computers, and other slick devices and less and less time with people or pondering. Yes, pondering; observing, being struck by the awe and pain of life and the simple things around us.

One of my dear friends and mentors, John Whitehead, former Chairman of Goldman Sachs, did something incredible when he was running the firm. John would take off the month of August each year and was 'unreachable'. Is that insane or what? But just possibly, the greatest of the man’s virtues lies in this discipline of breaking the insane rhythms of busyness.

17th century French thinker Blaise Pascal observed, “Nothing is so intolerable to man as being fully at rest, without a passion, without business, without entertainment, without care.” Even back then he spoke of 'diversions' or activities simply intended to take up our time, preventing us from thinking, observing, listening, or feeling. And that was in the 17th century (Wouldn't you love to see a debate between Blaise Pascal and Steve Jobs of Apple...but then all is possible -'yes, we can!'- given the new technologies).

Sometime back, I came across the experiment related below with a violinist in the Metro in Washington, DC. I was reminded of it again when John Gray from Orlando kindly sent it my way recently. It raises a number of important questions: Do we have time to take in beauty? Is listening to our surroundings a lost art? Is there any such thing as 'private' space in our lives any more? Do we have eyes to see? What is this relentless movement and stimuli actually doing to our heath... not having any restorative time?

The ancient wise men who in collaboration with God thought of the idea of a Sabbath might have been on to something. For centuries, 'blue laws' were typically observed even in secular cultures. The reasoning was that we needed a day free from work to rest, gain perspective, and focus upon the truly important things in life. Such 'limits' were deemed good for society, families, and individuals. Now, with the 24-7 world we live in, this is gone. So, I ask: Is that progress?

An assignment for me (and possibly you) might be to decide that next week you are going to do two things. First, block out two consecutive hours where you can merely think, sit, and walk. The key here is to have no agenda. This might be incredibly difficult for some of us. But, it should provide an excellent opportunity to learn about yourself. Take notes. Why was it so uncomfortable for some yet so energizing for others? Second, observe and write down 5 things that you typically might not 'see' unless you determined to do so Pay attention to the mosaics in the lobby of your office building, the contours of a tree at dusk, listening to a great aria in a dark room, etc. There is beauty all around and it will feed our souls if we allow it. The trouble is that we live in cultures that don't prize the acts of pondering and observing. Our world celebrates 'action'. We are producing children that are driven...but to what end. Will they be 'richer' inside or merely richer?

Oops, got to go. I am a busy man! (The currency of our time is busyness...are we busy being busy?)

What is this life,
full of care.
if we have no time
to stand and stare.

w.h. davies

Be alert to what truly matters,
Doug

Life Lesson X - The Crush of Depression

Depression is a shadow that has followed me for most of my life. It ebbs and flows and, as I grow older, it is not as powerful. When you have had heart bypass surgery, one of the things they warn you about is the potential for post-operative depression. It is speculated that the reasons for this depression are: (1.) the helplessness you experience as strangers treat you, (2.) the level of trauma caused to the body by the surgery and (3.) coming face to face with your mortality. They aren’t kidding about the depression. As I mentioned, I am familiar with depression, but the sadness I experienced after bypass surgery was overwhelming. Now that I am just about through the gloom, please allow me to share a couple of things I learned about resisting depression.

1. Fight. No matter how bad the depression gets, do not give up. Keep your head down and keep moving. If you surrender, you will lose.

2. Talk. Even if you believe your friends are tired of hearing about your struggles, keep sharing them. Your friends love you and they will listen. Depression wants to isolate you and make you believe you are alone – and that is exactly wrong.

3. Touch. To be human is to need physical contact. Do not ignore the need to touch - shake hands, squeeze shoulders and hug.

4. Write. Get your feelings out. If you don’t like to write, then talk to yourself. Do not bottle up the feelings inside. Do not edit or apologize for them. By getting them out of your head, they become easier to review and evaluate.

5. One Day At A Time is more than just a song or a catchphrase. Pay attention to each step and don't look too far ahead.

6. Trust. The Father walks in the shadows with you. He will not leave you. His silence is not disinterest.

PS: A friend shared these thoughts:
Two lessons I have learned;
1) Force yourself to do something for someone else. This is difficult and hard, but it takes the focus off of thinking about me.
2) Think about the good things. This is also difficult but check out all of Philippians 4:6-8... "Think!"

Stan Realized It Was Time To Diet.....