Life Lesson X - The Crush of Depression

Depression is a shadow that has followed me for most of my life. It ebbs and flows and, as I grow older, it is not as powerful. When you have had heart bypass surgery, one of the things they warn you about is the potential for post-operative depression. It is speculated that the reasons for this depression are: (1.) the helplessness you experience as strangers treat you, (2.) the level of trauma caused to the body by the surgery and (3.) coming face to face with your mortality. They aren’t kidding about the depression. As I mentioned, I am familiar with depression, but the sadness I experienced after bypass surgery was overwhelming. Now that I am just about through the gloom, please allow me to share a couple of things I learned about resisting depression.

1. Fight. No matter how bad the depression gets, do not give up. Keep your head down and keep moving. If you surrender, you will lose.

2. Talk. Even if you believe your friends are tired of hearing about your struggles, keep sharing them. Your friends love you and they will listen. Depression wants to isolate you and make you believe you are alone – and that is exactly wrong.

3. Touch. To be human is to need physical contact. Do not ignore the need to touch - shake hands, squeeze shoulders and hug.

4. Write. Get your feelings out. If you don’t like to write, then talk to yourself. Do not bottle up the feelings inside. Do not edit or apologize for them. By getting them out of your head, they become easier to review and evaluate.

5. One Day At A Time is more than just a song or a catchphrase. Pay attention to each step and don't look too far ahead.

6. Trust. The Father walks in the shadows with you. He will not leave you. His silence is not disinterest.

PS: A friend shared these thoughts:
Two lessons I have learned;
1) Force yourself to do something for someone else. This is difficult and hard, but it takes the focus off of thinking about me.
2) Think about the good things. This is also difficult but check out all of Philippians 4:6-8... "Think!"

Stan Realized It Was Time To Diet.....

Can You Blveiee It?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulacity uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervery lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig, huh?

Life Lesson IX - Center

He was in constantly changing circumstances and he interacted with an incredible variety of people. Yet, through all of the situational transformations and individual variations, how did Jesus remain the same? What was the secret to his faithful constancy? Jesus was centered in his relationship with the Father. He did not allow his circumstances or his current company to define him. At his center – at his core – Jesus’ connection with his Heavenly Father was the essential element in his self-identity. The Father's love for him was (and remains today) the central element of his self-identity. There are lessons here for us and significant things to ponder. For example, two questions: “What do we use to define ourselves?” and “What difference would it make if our relationship with the God called Love was our center?”

Life Lesson IX – My life must be defined by the Father’s love for me.

Life Lesson VIII - Surrender Does Not Mean Defeat

At a certain point, when you have been struggling to breathe, you finally begin to let go and give up. It is as though the struggle is no longer worth the energy. Rest and peace invite you to lay down with them. In that moment there is peace – as though a great battle has ended. You have done all that you can do and there is nothing left to give. There, at the end of yourself, is the stillness and the serenity that you have struggled to find.

As long as we insist on living our lives on our own terms and in our own strength, the struggle will continue. Grasping at illusions and distractions will only cause greater disappointment. The more we get becomes the more we want. Planning this and controlling that grows quickly exhausting. To surrender to a greater and kinder power is not to be conquered. To bow before the One Who is Love cannot be seen as defeat.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

“Hear me, my chiefs! I am tired. My heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.” - Chief Joseph

“The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities...It is best to win without fighting.” - Sun-Tzu, The Art of War

Life Lesson VIII – Surrender does not mean defeat.

Life Lesson VII - There's No Need To Fear....

At the beginning of this adventure, when things got bad, I prayed for a hero. I wanted someone to step into my life, roll up their sleeves and fix things. Maybe this comes from my own Dad issues or from my own weakness, but I longed for a champion who would make everything alright. I wanted someone who would tell me what I should do, who would defend me and who would pick me up. At times I thought it would be a friend and at other times I thought it would be the Father. (Sometimes I thought it would be the lottery.) I have been astonished and greatly humbled by the number of friends who have contacted me to let me know of their prayers and concern for Kathy and me - but no one person has stepped in with a magic wand to make everything OK – not even God. There are still struggles. There are still challenges. And I still search for direction in the new business.

We often want a God who will step into our lives and take over. We want a God – or sometimes anyone – who will defend us from gossip and rumor, insure our financial security, heal our every medical challenge and give us a clear set of instructions for living. If we have the choice between freedom and security, more often than not, we will trade our freedom for protection. Sadly, many of us are willing to relinquish our freedom in exchange for knowing that someone is going to make everything better.

If we want a God who will fix our problems, then the God revealed in Jesus Christ is not the one for us. Jesus followed him and it led Jesus to the cross. The Father did not make everything “OK” for Jesus. But, what the Father will do is intimately engage in my struggles. The fact that he does not make everything better does not mean that he is disinterested or indifferent. What it does mean is that he is taking my suffering and my pain into himself and experiencing it with me. He does not need a grand display of power to prove his might, but instead he takes my sin, my doubt, my fear, my anger, my deceit, my pride and my selfishness into himself and redeems it.

No matter what I pray for, the Father grants me what I need. No matter what I ask him to do or who I ask him to be, he remains faithful in his love.

Life Lesson VII – The Father engages me at my core.

Life Lesson VI - This Ain't About You

I invest most of my time in me. And I am able to report that I am getting better at taking good care of myself. I make sure that I am clean. I make sure that I eat. I make sure that I do things that make me happy. Why, I am even successfully dieting and exercising to prolong my life! Beyond just the proper stewardship of my life, I find that what I want and what I need make up most of my priorities for the day. I am consumed with myself. Sadly, this isn’t who Jesus called me to be.

Often in churches, just before communion, the pastor will read from I Corinthians 12. In the course of the reading, along with the explanation for communion, the pastor will read the ominous warning about taking the Lord’s Supper in an “unworthy manner.” This causes the congregants to begin searching their hearts for any secret sins. However, what Paul is talking about is not just generic sin in the lives of believers. We are all sinners. Paul is talking about the specific sin of the Corinthians’ selfishness and their neglect of one another.

In verses 20-22 of I Corinthians 11 Paul writes:

“When you come together, it is not the Lord's Supper you eat, for as you eat, each of you goes ahead without waiting for anybody else. One remains hungry, another gets drunk. Don't you have homes to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you for this? Certainly not!”

The specific sin in the Corinthian church was their lack of concern about each other – they were focused only on themselves – not each other. They wanted to make sure that they had all that they wanted with no concern for their brothers and sisters. Can you imagine the transformation which would occur in churches today if the pastor said, "Before we take communion, if you are guilty of having neglected another member of our body or selfishly pursuing your own goals, I want to give you the opportunity to confess your sin and make amends.." Speaking for myself, it would be a few hours before I would be able to get to the communion table.

If I am to follow Jesus, I cannot base my life around myself. I cannot spend my days building my kingdom, investing in my causes and pursuing my interests. I must be willing to devote the same energy and intentionality to the concerns of my brothers and sisters as I am to my own challenges. This is the only way that the ideal to care for one another deeply and actively can ever be achieved. Paul writes that “…there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it (1 Corinthians 12:25-26 - NIV). This kind of unity can never take place as long as I am focused on myself.

Life Lesson VI – This isn’t about me.